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today nv go skool..
pon agn.
anyways i'm jus feeling sad..
n i'm bored
suppose to meet *her todae..
but cos of ytd.. i nv tok to *her le..
i tink tt today i staying at home agn..
anyone wann to find me can just come my house ya..
hehe.. unless u dunno where i stay..
jepher
To:JeDd kor..
kor ar.. since euu sae u will take thing easy..
i hope so lo.. eh.. everyone is worried for euu..
dun feel sad.. all these tinks happen for a reason
is not ur fault or hers..
no one is to blame for tis..
wad is done is over...
cheer up..
hope to see u back to ur normal self again
Jepher
examS examS examS
cominG iN a Week timE!!
Ahh..i'm really Studying
Ppl!! believe mE..
i'M stuDying
Study study study
to numb myself..
all the pain is in my heart
i nidd to cry
the pain in my heart
is where it belongs
i will not cry infront of Ppl
cos i got pride..
*Cries*
no one knws Me!!
better off dead!
jepher
so long nv post le..
these few days becos of some ppl
i gt so pissed off la in my life..
n somemore is at tiong can
i wonder..
y i shld bother abt it?
onli god knws ba..
becos of it... make me so blur!!
anyways i can't be bothered..
stupid ppl!!!!!
Jepher
i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
the weakness is that i care too much
the scars remind me of the past that is real!
Jepher
it's been 2daes since we tok..
looks lyk both of us dun wann to give in..
now wad i wann to do is concentrate on my studies ba..
just hope tt she knws tt she is neglecting her work..
JeDd kor nv sms me le.. or call me at nite.. sad rite?
no Choice wad.. wad euu wann me to do?
this shows tt she can't bothered abt me le..
since lyk tt wad shld i do?
dun call them anymore??
do nth of it?? or wad???
can anyone tell me??
can i trust those ppl tt i am going to give my password to??
wad do euu tink??
*sad sad*
i miss my sweetheart!!
*misses*
thou now i can't really meet u but u shld knw
wad i am doing rite?
u will support me de rite?
i lurrve Euu!
Jepher
a few questions that i nidd to knw
how euu could ever hurt me so
i nidd to knw wad i've done wrong
and hw long it's been going on
was it that i nv give enough attention?
or did i not give enough affection?
not only will ur answers keep me sane
but i'll knw nv to make the same mistakes agn
euu can tell me to my face
or even on the phone
euu can write it in a letter
either way i haf to knw
did i nv treat u right?
did i always start the fight?
either way i'm going out of my mind
all the answers to my questions i have to find
my head's spinning
and i am in a daze.
i feel isolated
don't wann to communicate
i'll take a shower
i'll scour
i'll run
find peace of mind
the happy mind
i wonder
things and vocabulary runs right through me
conversation,hesitations in my mind
euu got my conscience asking questions that i can't find
i'm not crazy
i'm sure i ain't done nothing wrong
i'm just waiting cause i heard that this feeling won't last long
jepher
To:anita sweetheart..
eh.. tks for being there for me in the morning on sat
i'm glad u suggested arcade
maybe u knw tt i will feel better after playing
glad to haf u with me ytd..
we had fun din't we?
haha..
sweetheart wo ai ni...
haha..
Jepher
to those whu was finding me for me todae
sorry, let u guys worry cos din't go to skool
din't reply ur sms or answer ur calls..
cos i was just too stress??
i dunno wad how to express my feelings la..
wadeva it is, jus hope u guys understand how i feel
those whu dunno can just heck care la.
cos i dunno wad to sae le..
todae feel lyk MIA one.. but....
ppl keep calling me..
haix.. shld have off my hp..
i dunno le la.. i tink i going to go home
den lock myself at home..
off hp...den let myself do wadeva i nidd to..
happy to see xing smiling so big..
glad to see jedd kor happy
hope to see sherlyn smile with her stead
wan to see joan mama happy
as for me?? i dunno ..
Jepher
kor,
i'm sorry.. i knw u didn't mean to say her name when i'm ard!
ytd it was sylvia whu started all the crap!
i'm so sorry..
i now really no mood to write le..
Jepher
to :CollEen!
i heard from someone tt sometink happen to Euu ytd!
it really shocked me! cos i sort of heard wad they did to Euu!
eh.. i really dunno wad to say.. but i'm sad!
u take care k! cos i really dunno wad to say
i'm just so sad tt sometink happen
i really dunno wad to sae!
jepher
kor..
dun worry la.. lyk wad dp sae.. ur tail will grow soon..
hmm.. yups.. so u take care k!!
misses ya!
Jepher!
hey..
just hope u lyk the tink i give euu..
haha.. eh.. tt's all la..
SWeethearts foreva!
jepher
poor colleen,
injuried her toes cos she hit the sofa..
colleen ar.. u take care k..
when u are orite
den we go play bball!!
Jepher
kor..
dun worry la.. lyk wad dp sae.. ur tail will grow soon..
hmm.. yups.. so u take care k!!
misses ya!
Jepher!
aiyo.. i really feel lyk killing myself lo..
u tink tt i care for jedd onli
i care for everyone equally lo..
kao..dun tell me abt jedd or ace etc
i really dunno wad to say la..
but come on la..
i dun really bothered abt all these tink le
i need a break.. or else...
i dunno wad will happen..
i really wann to play bball or sometink
to relieve stress.. tt's all lo..
i dunno wad to sae la..
maybe leaving me alone will help
or someone with me will help
i dunno..
i really dunno..
being betray again i guess..
haix.. wad in the world do they wann from me
exam onli pass 2 subject.. the rest all fail..
study study study..
i dun wann to study le la..
anyway.. also will stay back this year..
might as well just quit skool..
pissed off..
glad to haf my shawn kor there for me
tks kor..
jepher
y is everyone asking to blog tinks tt i dun feel lyk blogging..
wad u want me to sae..
u sae tt u believe tt i care more abt jedd feelings more then u
u tink is true rite
den i really got nth to say le..
cos if i din't care abt u
i won't see ur blog.
i won't bother abt u whether u got scolding frm ur mum
or wadeva..
i really damn sad la. i dun knw wad to sae..
jeDd.. colleen..huiyu..sherlyn.. u.. n more..
wad u wann me to do.. i am damn sad nw la..
i am going to breakdown le.. i really am..
if u and ace find me hor..i also dunno wad to sae..
find me also no use le la..
gt nth to sae le.. bye guys..
take care..
jepher
one post to anita
second post to jedd
third post to everyone..
i won't be posting for sometime..
but will be going in to see my tag board..
so got anytink to sae
tag or call my hse.. guys u shld knw rite..
yups.. tt's all..
cos no mood to write le..
after writing to anita n jedd..
colleen take care.. haha..
Jepher
to:JeDd kor
how long do u wann to keep from me..
even sylvia knws abt it..
how long haf i known u ?
keeping tt r/s away from me..
keeping me in the dark..
since i was the one tt gave her ur no.
dun u tink tt i shld knw abt the R/s first
thou i dun agree but still i told u tt i will
supporting u no matter wad decision u make..
wad do u wann?
u wann me to be the last person to knw abt it rite?!
is really sad tt i wasn't the first one to knw or sometink
cos sylvia knw u lyk 2-3 weeks yet she knws more then me..
wad i really wann to do is to avoid u for weeks..
i regard u as my kor.. but do u??
i guess NOT
i really dunno wad to say le la!
sylvia really knws how sad n unhappy i am la..
not cos u stead wiith"her"
but u din't tell me anytink..
u dun feel comfortable telling me something..
since lyk tt.. i feel tt we shld not contact each other for the time being
i might be cruel to sae all these..
but it really hurts writing all these..
wad i write to anita
i really wann her to be by my side now.. so tt i can cry on..
i guess u dun knw how it feels to be kept in the dark..
i told u all my feelings all the tinks i haf in my heart..
but u din't open up to me..
den lyk tt forget it la.. i gt nth to sae le..
won't contact u for now...
Jepher
to:anita[sweetheart]
hey.. i just saw ur blog n it kind of makes me sad..
we din't even sms each other..
[hp kana confiscated]
n also nowadaes we got nth to tok abt
neither did we contact each other to go out..
maybe i din't take the effort to ask u out..
u thought tt i would be happier playing bball with colleen
u thought tt i would be happier going out with jedd
u thought tt all those thing makes me happy..
but did u see me SMILE??
u din't tink abt my feelings inside..
all these daes u won't there for me
wad i felt was LONELINESS n also SAD
y? long story..
ALL the things tt happen was just
MY FAULT!!
wad can i sae but to blame myself for it..
haix.. even the closest person to me nowadaes also
knw more then me?! no one knws how sad i am
being kept in the dark..
maybe they tink tt it is best to be the last one to knw..
do they knw how i feel??
do they thought abt my feelings??
how i hope tt u were with me right now..
so tt i can haf someone with me..
to knw tt i am not lonely..
hope tt i can lie on ur shoulder to cry on!
how i really wish..
sad to sae.. i am really tired of all these things.
i dun wanna knw or tink abt it
cos it hurts me when i tink of anything
JEPher
hmm.. haix.. everyone so sad!
ytd went with huiyu to airport in the morning
go walk walk.. as both of us feel down..
after the whole tink went to her hse
decided to go cycling.. bad choice..
cos sometink happen.. hahax
i tink can guess lo.. yupx..
anyways.. i nw also not in a mood to type le
so shall end here lo.. cos i need to go home le
it's 11.05 pm lei.. haha.. ok..
tt colleen also la.. go tell me she 10 then online..
end up she online at 10.45 like tt.. bluff me
rubbish** nvm.. she apologised to me le..
forgive n forget!! haha..
JEPher
