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I'M RETAINING TIS YEAR!
my feelin' abtt it..
i sort of figuredd it outt laa..
c the way i react to my studiess..
can't be botheredd sincee sec 1
am kind of sad.
blame myself for it ma..
whu ask me dun studyy..
serve me rite..
i'm gonna study properly next year.
promise mann..
Jepher-
i dun really knw wad to blog now le.
all i wann them to knw tt actually the whole tink is my fault
but after they knw herr* or wadeva
is up to them to see whu they wann to be with..
i dun wann to stop them or anytink cos they say tt
they got the rights to choose whu they wann to be with
if i insist on them following me n also stopping them to choose they wann to be with
they will tink tt i am someone whu is unreasonable.
wad can i say. they will sure tink tt way de.
i really miss the days we guys had.
only JeDd,xing,ace,huiyu,danping,sherlyn and Me.
we were lyk buddies.going out 2gether.
we were so close together.we had each other.
but now after they knw tt gal* on tt sentosa day
n the others.. i'm not close to them le.
dun even say buddy..
i really wish i can turn back the clock.
den i won't have done any of tis mistakes.
tinks tt i regret totally.
i told herr*tt if i had a chance to turn back the clock i WOULD
i really would lei. i'm totally hurt when i tink back.
but wad can i do?! to blAMe myself forr tiss..
all i wann is tat they knw tat i'm not stopping them from seeing herr*
eg.Ace ask me out. she say tt She** is going.
den i say i dun wann already.. den they tink tt i very petty.
TO:XING,JEDD,ACE..
if Euu guys r happy with her.let me knw. i will just try to vanish.
not going to appear infront of euu.i would do my very best.
i just dun feel lyk ma. i dun wann to see her*
i dun wann to tok to her after all the tinks she say n do to me.
how can i believe her again.how can i trust her again.
how can ii do it against my ownself.
ii really can't.
ii really can't.
ii really can't do it.
dunn force me to.
ii'm sorry.
ii'm really SORRY.
Jepher-
ytd went out with swtheart.
went to many places.
we had fun rite? didn't we?!
everytime i go out with euu
i feel so great n relax.
unlike went i'm at home,
i would lie on my bed n
tink abt wad happen
blaming myself for all the stuff
eg. E problem tat has yet to settle.
euu shld knw wad i'm saying n feel
thou i hate day time
n would rather lyk night time
but everytime i would tink back
n really wann to say sorry to everyone
eg.xing,jedd,n those tt got involve in tis matter
but not tat gal who was so sarcastic
We talk abt it ytd n showed u some tinks.
i dunno y they dun understand how i feel
or tink abt wad actually happen
n who was the cause of tis whole matter.
JEPH was the one to BLAME!
ME was the ONE!!
if not for me. all tis would happen
ii Lurvee at nightt coss noO onee will knw tat i'm crying
ii lurve at nightt cos i can justt do wad i wann to myself
ii lurve at nightt cos i can tink back n reflect abt it
ii lurve at nightt cos it's peaceful n quiet
butt when it's too quiett it's too scary
scared tat sometink mightt happen
but tellin' myself tat i nv regret doing stuff tat i would regret tml
after the whole incident which has yet to settle
ppl ask me to ask herr* to sit down n talk nicely to herr*
but pls. i'm not at fault. i repeat I"M NOT!
Even if euu guys kill me i won't.cos it's not my fault
i mightt be stubborn when i say tis but i dun caree
Euu guys wann to BLAME me i dun care
but Euu guys mightt just regret on it
i dunno wad's gonna happen but it's gonna be hard for me
the road.the path.is going to be hard for me to go through
but i'm gonna finish the road.the path.
i knw there's gonna be loadds of obstacles ahead
i mightt just cry.
i mightt just get hurt.
i mightt just stop.
i mightt just run.
i mightt just kill myself.
tis road.tis path i have to walk myself
no one is gonna help me.
no one is gonna give me support.
no one is gonna give me the courage to carry on.
JEPHER-
kzz. its been some time since i came to blog..
just change blogskin..
kind of weird huh..
anyways.. farking bitch..
i din't try to break euu guys up..
euu sort of deserve it..
euu dun deserve her for wad euu did lo..
euu dun!!
euu not worthy la..
bloody bitch..
i also nv say tinks abt euu lo
dun put words in my mouth..
euu dunno anytink can ask tell me
dun need to hide.. if got nt happy tink
tell me.. see whether whu correct or wrong..
to:ace
lyk wad i sms euu.. i will always be there for euu..
can always turn to me n tell me ur problems..
to :xing..
xing euu dun sad. steph always behind euu..
To: jeDd
now euu sms me.. i feel tt u take of taking me for granted lei
i really dunno wad to sae abt euu..
wad euu tell sherlyn mummy..
euu say euu got nth to say to me.. haix.
look at how euu treat me la.. go tink abt it
jepher-
looks lyk its really over rite?? hmmm..
called her* but den she talk lyk wann to die
somemore she dun even wann to talk
more den one sentence to me le lo..
i'm really sad.. how she treat me now lo..
haix.. i really dunnno wad to do lo..
i'm really dissapointed with her
i'm really sad lo..
not only becos of her
but my best buddy.. the way she treat me is lyk shit lo..
she dun treat me as friend
just one sentence n tis shows wad a good friend she is
as for others.. of cos the same tink lo..
i really got lots of trouble with everyone...
am i really tat hard to communicate?
tell me.. can someone jus tell me ma??
Jepher-
tinks been going on with the cliques ard me..
n i feel so troubled..
i also dunno how to express lo..
to:ace
euu must take care.. no one is in the wrong at all la..
is all my fault.. haix..
i'm so sorry..
to:qianru
hey.. dun be sad le la.. i knw ytd u been feeling sad
if u wanna cry just cry out loud.. u will feel better.
dun keep everytink inside u.. u must carry on..
think the positive side.. whu knws. she might just come back..
as for the rest i dunno wad to sae..
just takecare dudes!!
Jepher
euu try to reach me.try to figure out
euu try to breathe me,but euu can't blow me out
euu try to feel me,but i'm so out of touch
i won't be falling,euu won't have to pick me up
sry if i sound confuse,and dun feel the way euu do
but i won't turn around,but i won't turn around
think tat i might back down,but i won't
think tat i might have doubts,but i don't
no insecurities
won't euu let me,won't euu let me be
think tat euu knw me now,but u don't tink tat i,
i can't stand on my own
ain't my philosophy
won't u let me,let me be
trust in my instincts,trust tat i knw wad's right
there are the reasons tat keep euu at night
tell me go slow,this is my flow
'cause u dun knw,knw wad i knw
let me tell euu how it feels
baby,its time tat u've seen me for real
sry if i sound confused and dun't feel the way i do
but i won't turn around,but i won't turn around
trust tat i knw, tis is my show
letting u knw,gotta go the way i go
jepher
everything is back to normal
except some tinks tt i heard..
i went friendster n guess wad..
Ppl whu knwS FELCIA KANG
plS she went to seE my FriendSter can!!
fArk Up.. she such A BitcH!!!
aRgh.... bitch!! i can't stand it..
i went to see her profile...
n pics.. omg....
i can't stand her face..
wad if i see her in SKOOL???
Wad iF i CAn't Stop myselF
N juX givE heR a Tight slAp???
Waaa.. she will be the FirSt persoN
i RealLy Slap Can..
NO. 1 Stc Gal kana SLap!!
wOw..
O.0
anyways tmr i got chinese paper..
wish me good Luck... hahahaha
how can i be so happy??!!
oh ya.. TODAE!!!
i've got a HAMSTER!!!
me n Ws take turns to look after..
it's sooo CUTe.. kawaii....
still tinking of wad to call it..
any idea wanna share.. just give comment..
Jepher-
